Anyone who knows me understands that, during the fall and early winter, I watch football. A lot of football…college and pro.

This weekend, for some odd reason, I started thinking about the penalty for illegal motion. For the uninitiated, a referee calls illegal motion when offensive players who are moving before the snap of the football don’t come to a complete stop before the center snaps the ball. If they are still in motion, a flag is thrown, and the offense is penalized five yards. Fans and coaches alike become instantly frustrated when their team makes this mistake. Coaches say things like “we have to be more disciplined. We can’t keep hurting ourselves with mindless penalties.”

I wonder what everyday life would be like if we all were penalized for illegal motion?

Sounds like a strange notion……but think about how many times we act impulsively and move before we should. A colleague writes a seemingly innocuous email that we take wrong, and we fire back without thinking it through. A friend unintentionally does something that hurts us, and we lash out without considering why it might have happened. A loved one forgets to pick up the dry cleaning, and we impulsively bark “I can’t believe you did that to me!” instead of trying to find out if something kept them from completing the errand.

David Burns, an expert in the field of cognitive behavior therapy, has written volumes on automatic negative thoughts that cause us trouble. He says that there are ten cognitive distortions that we encounter, including “all or nothing thinking,” “overgeneralization,” and “magnification.” Without mentally intervening in our automatic thinking and recognizing these distortions, we end up in arguments, distance from each other, and, sometimes, broken relationships. I know I can look back at numerous instances in my life when I wish someone had “thrown a flag” and warned me that I was moving before I should.

Recently I was at a meeting where, in response to something I said, a person responded in an abrupt, cold way. Instead of saying something equally abrupt in return, I stopped for a few seconds and thought to myself, “don’t take this personally. Perhaps she is just having a bad day.” I then said, “thank you for the suggestion. That is helpful.” To my surprise, I felt calm. Even though the person was oblivious to how I might have been offended, I was all right. And I hadn’t fractured the relationship with a colleague by overreacting.

Illegal motion….the next time you are tempted to fire back, imagine a ref getting ready to throw a flag. Avoid the penalty, and avoid the unpleasant consequences.

When people are stressed out, some think about taking up yoga.

If someone mentions yoga to you, what comes to mind? People sitting on mats, their hands pressed together in front of their hearts, legs crossed, breathing deeply, right? They are stretching their muscles, and they are calm.

That’s a little bit of what happens, but only a little.

When I went to my first yoga class several years ago, I thought, ‘hey, what a great way to decompress: you’re not running or climbing or swimming or lifting heavy weights. You and your classmates are just listening to a very nice person who doesn’t look like she could hurt a fly. There is beautiful music playing. The lighting is soft.’

Then class started. And I was in a whole different world, one where if you don’t pay attention to what’s happening, you can end up at your doctor’s office, begging for muscle relaxers.

After the introduction and deep breathing, everyone went into downward facing dog, probably the best-known yoga pose. I thought, ‘okay, this is pretty good. I like this.’ Then my teacher moved my feet apart, gently pressed my back down, and told me to lean on my hands with my chest pushing backwards. “You don’t want to hurt your wrists,” she said calmly.

I thought, holy crap, I feel like my shoulders are going to explode.

And that was one of the easiest poses we did – in a level one class. Because then what we had to do is lift one leg straight behind us, swing it through between our hands on the floor, and land it. Then bring the other leg up to meet it. After that, put your hands on the floor.

After a couple of poses, I thought, ‘gosh, am I going to survive this? How long have we been doing this? I peeked at my watch: 8 minutes. Eight minutes?? How will I get through an hour?’

Thus began my relationship with yoga. After that first class, I actually didn’t stop going. I did do some research and talk to some friends who were long-time yogis to learn more about what yoga is and why it is beneficial.

First, I had to understand that yoga is both a physical and mental practice. It requires mindful attention in the moment, all the time. You can’t be distracted, thinking about what you’re going to get at the grocery store, or why your friend forgot your birthday, or what time the game starts. You must listen to your instructor, watch how the pose develops, and then be sure to get your feet, legs, hips, arms, shoulders, hands, back, neck, and head in the right position.

And believe it or not, as you keep practicing, you feel better. You feel more connected to your body and mind. You gain confidence in your physical abilities, regardless of your age. You know that you are able to be strong mentally. You understand why it’s important to be in the present moment and not worry about things that haven’t happened yet.

This past week was a very stressful one for me and my colleagues. There was a lot happening, some of it very upsetting. I made sure I went to yoga class Saturday. There, I and my classmates were with B.B., an amazing instructor who is funny, easy-going, and non-judgmental. I loved being in the building. It wasn’t loud (and we all know how loud the world can be). People were kind to each other. “Let me move my mat so you’ll have enough room.” Everyone knew we are there to do something good for ourselves. I felt calmer just walking into the studio.

That’s really how yoga helps me manage stress. Try it – and thank me later.